Manoranjan Ka Baap- Jokes+Funny PiX's Collection(Adult)

[imran7862001]

गोलू और मोलू बहुत अछे दोस्त थे पर अचानक एक ही दिन दोनों मर जाते है और इकठे नरक में पहुँचते है.
गोलू ने मोलू को देखा और हैरान होते हुए पूछा.
गोलू: "अबे तू कैसे मरा?"
मोलू: "ठण्ड से, और तू?"
गोलू: "मैने आत्म हत्या की"
मोलू: "क्यों बे, तू तो अच्छा भला था और खुसी से जी रहा था?"
गोलू: "यार, मुझे लगा मेरी बीवी का किसी से चक्कर है, एक दिन शक होने पे छापा मारा पर कोई नहीं था, शर्म के मारे मैंने आत्म-हत्या कर ली"
मोलू ने गोलू को जोर से थपड मारा और बोला.
मोलू: "भोंसड़ी के अगर फ्रिज खोल के देखा होता, तो ना तू शर्म से मरता और ना में ठण्ड से"

[amit2025]

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.................................................. ...

[imran7862001]

A sardar reads on the front side of a girl's t-shirt written

"Handle with care"

Next day Sardar wears Jeans written on it

"Candle with hair"

[imran7862001]

The word ‘PYAR’ is used in so many hindi film songs.. If we will replace the word ‘PYAR’ with ‘UNGLI’…then the songs will b as follows…

UNGLI KARNE WALE KABHI DARTE NAHI… JO DARTE HAIN WO UNGLI KARTE NAHI.

UNGLI KIYA TO DARNA KYA… UNGLI KIYA KOI CHORI NAHI KI.. CHUP CHUP AAHEN BHARNA KYA…

YAAD AA RAHI HAI…. TERI UNGLI

MERA DIL V KITNA PAGAL HAI ..YE UNGLI TO TUMSE KARTA HAI.

[imran7862001]

Teri Ankho mein aansoo muh pe hansi hai,

wah wah,

Teri Ankho mein aansoo muh pe hansi hai,

Waah waah

Lagta hai teri lulli zip mein phansi hai…..

Ab bolo waah waah

[imran7862001]

2 lady doctors were discussing their suhagraat.

first he did
MOUTH TO MOUTH RESPIRATION
then
CARDIAC MASSAGE
and then
CATHETERISATION

oh ! he gave me only
ENEMA

[imran7862001]

Definition of "KISS" from educational point of view.
.
MATHS:>
KISS is the shortest distance between 2 Lips...!
.
ECONOMICS:>
KISS is that thing 4 which the DEMAND is always higher than the SUPPLY...!
.
PHYSICS:>
KISS is the powerful process of charging 2 human bodies in a short time...!
.
COMPUTER:>
KISS is just like a LAN, in which 2 bodies are connected without any DATA CABLE...!

Class is Over...!
Go for practicals ...

[amit2025]

2 lady doctors were discussing their suhagraat.

first he did
MOUTH TO MOUTH RESPIRATION
then
CARDIAC MASSAGE
and then
CATHETERISATION

oh ! he gave me only
ENEMA

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;

[imran7862001]

Baba Sexydass se kisi ne poochha : :Baba ji, Sukh aur Santosh mein kya samanta hai?"


Baba bole: "Jeevan mein apni pasand ki choot mil jaye to SUKH

aur agar jo mile usiko chodna pade to SANTOSH.

[amit2025]

+++++++++++++++++++++++++:d....................... ............................

[imran7862001]

After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to
perform anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few
things, but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him, "this is all in your mind," and refers
him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink
confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor. The witch doctor
tells him, "I can cure this," and throws some powder on a flame, and
there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.... The witch doctor says
"This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you
have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?" The
witch doctor says "all you have to say is '1234' and it will go down.
But be warned it will not work again for a year!" The guy goes home and
that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news.... So he
is lying in bed with her and says '123', and suddenly he gets an
erection.
His wife turns over and says "What did you say '123' FOR?"

[amit2025]

::::::::::::::::::::

[hotvins]

A sardar reads on the front side of a girl's t-shirt written

"Handle with care"

Next day Sardar wears Jeans written on it

"Candle with hair"

[amit2025]

he...he

[philogynist]

एक आदमी मरकर स्वर्ग में जाता है . स्वर्ग में उसे एक बड़ी दिवार पर टंगी काफी साड़ी घडिया (clocks) दिखाती है तो वो यमराज से पूछता है - '' इतनी साडी घडिया किस लिए ''
यमराज - '' ये झूट गिननेकी घडिया है ... उधर धरती पर जब आदमी झूठ बोलता है , यह घडी थोड़ी आगे बढाती है ...
आदमी - ये किसकी घडी है ... यह तो बंद दिख रही है ..
यमराज - यह मदर टेरेसा की घडी है ... वह जिन्दगीमे एक बार भी झूठ नहीं बोली ... इसलिए वह कभी आगे बढ़ी ही नहीं ...
आदमी - अगर ऐसा है तो ... मुजे आपनी politicians की घडिया देखनी है ... कहा है वे ...
यमराज - politicians की घडिया यहाँ नहीं है ... वह तो हम हमारे ऑफिस में table fans के तौर पर इस्तेमाल करते है ...